The outpouring of love, support, well wishes and positive vibes that I received in regards to my first post about how I intend to use my Grandfathers death as a source of inspiration to live my life more fully was so heartwarming and encouraging. Thank you.
I spoke about how the aftermath of losing someone we love usually comes with a big, fat reminder of life's fragility. This can effect our grief in one of two ways. We can become terrified and crippled, consumed by the sadness that accompanies the inevitability of death. Or we can reflect on just that - the inevitability. And we can use that realization to inspire us to evolve and be better humans. To encourage us to value the time we do have and maybe start using it a bit more wisely.
I feel fortunate to be experiencing real loss for the first time as a 26 year old adult who has the ability to process the meaning of death. (Or at least attempt to.) Losing both of my Grandparents within the past two years comes at an already transitional time in life. My mid-twenties have been constant contemplation; starting in new directions, changing paths shortly after, always analyzing how I want to spend my days. This loss has served as a large wake up call. What is the purpose of all of this? What are we really supposed to be doing with this life?
My grief has been singing to me, "There is no concrete answer! It's all a mystery. So just do more of what you love, with the people you love. Stop analyzing, be present. Do what you want and do it now."
I believe in spirit and whispers from the universe and psychics and tarot and and all the mysterious little signs we receive. I have had too many personal experiences that were too perfectly aligned to be simply coincidental.
In 1990, when my mother was pregnant with me, she was walking on the famously eclectic boardwalk in Venice Beach, California. A psychic randomly approached her and said, "I must let you know, you have a very strong willed baby. Good luck with her!!"
That woman's warning was fair and accurate.
More recently, I ran into a spirit guide in Brooklyn. She laid out a deck of tarot cards in front me, read my palm and sighed.
"Taylor, you have a very big problem. You have been suppressing your creativity for far too long and that needs to change now."
Also, a very fair and accurate claim. I told her that I didn't need to visit her to be told that. I had been fully aware of the suppression for the last two years. In fact, I can trace it back to the time I started working full time in Corporate America. (How ironic? Not!)
I come from a family of creatives. My parents are both entrepreneurs who started their own successful businesses from nothing. They truly don't know how to sit still, always seeking out the next project. What others might view as disastrous or headache inducing, my parents view as potential and excitement. Which is why I grew up moving in to old and outdated houses that my parents bought to reconstruct because "there is just so much original charm!" They have both the eye and the talent to find disheveled houses and untamed landscapes and turn them into pristine, magazine-cover worthy homes. My eldest sister is a teacher and an amazing gardener whose suburban backyard is a colorful oasis of homegrown flowers, fruits and delicious vegetables. My other sister is a photographer by profession but should really also be a professional party planner or interior designer as she puts Pinterest to shame. My family are makers and doers so it is only natural that creative desires are a prominent part of who I am and should be. As I have grown older, I realize that any anxiousness I feel typically starts brewing any time I veer away from this.
In her book , Big Magic, Elizabeth Gilbert makes the following statement,
"If I am not actively creating something, then chances are, I am probably actively destroying something - myself, a relationship, or my own peace of mind." She also says that "Inspiration is always available and flying around us - waiting to be reached out and grabbed. But most of their lives, people just walk around saying No, No, No, No. But then again, some day, you just might say - Yes."
I (and apparently my Brooklyn spirit guide) can't deny that I have been choosing to say no for the past few years. I have essentially been turning my back on my own self. But why?
"I just moved to a big city, I am adjusting, I am busy, I work a full time job, I am always tired, there is no time, this is just the way adulthood is."
I have been living and surviving well, yes. But boredom, unhappiness, and a lack of purpose and motivation have been too present to deny and it is because I have been falling for the above excuses.
Yoga is my deep love. Travel is my greatest inspiration. Photo and video creation make me want to sleep less and get outside more. Being in an intercultural relationship has enriched my life in ways I could've never imagined. I spend many hours of my day cooking vegetarian meals and experimenting with super foods.
It is time to feed all of these passions and give them the (internet) space to grow. For no reason other than because they bring me joy and I want to share it with the world in hopes of it inspiring others to do the same.
Too many times lately, I have been reminded that life is precious and life is short. I finally have gotten the hint.
So in the name of manifestation, because life is too short, and in the spirit of saying Yes....
A blog is born.
I hope you stick around.
If there is anything specific you would like me to post about relating to
- photo and video
- intercultural relationships
- healthy cooking
comment below and I will post in your honor!!!